What do I owe to Caldecott?
It is very difficult to estimate the effect on our development of any particular influence during our childhood. I did not come from an abusive home, and my parents and extended family continued to play a part in my upbringing notwithstanding my absence from home for most of the year. Would I have become a different person if I had lived at home in Saltash and Plymouth and attended local schools? I would probably still have attended university and gone into the law. I would have been surrounded by a different set of friends, acquaintances, teachers and role models. Who knows how I would have turned out?
On the other hand, it is only on reading my Caldecott file that I realise what psychological problems I had before going to Caldecott, and what an important part Caldecott played in turning me into a relatively outgoing and sociable member of society.
I think one undoubted effect of attending Caldecott was a broadening of my horizons. Thanks to Miss Leila’s determination that the children in her care would live in spacious and attractive homes, I exchanged a provincial working class background for life in a large house built by Robert Adam, surrounded by beautiful ceilings, fireplaces and paintings, amid spacious grounds, cared for by people who were nearly all from a more privileged background, and where class did not seem to play a part. Looking back, I can remember the odd child with a double-barrelled surname, but this made no impact at the time. Caldecott turned me from a working class boy into an adult who, while proud of his working class roots, considers himself to be classless. The downside of moving from a working class background to university and a professional life is a feeling that you belong neither in one class or the other, but Caldecott served to mitigate that to some extent, as the experience of living among the artefacts usually enjoyed by the upper classes provided to an extent a sense of entitlement to that lifestyle, which I would not otherwise have enjoyed.
It would be wrong to downplay the actual physical and emotional care provided by Miss Leila and her staff. To be fed and sheltered, to be introduced to sports and other activities, and to know that there were adults with whom we could discuss any problems was invaluable. One of the things that I appreciated about Miss Leila was that, on my return from holiday, she would ask not only about my welfare, but also that of my parents. In adult life, I have read so many times of care homes where children were used and abused by adults preoccupied with their own problems, and found it impossible to imagine this happening among the Caldecott staff who were [although I believe most of us did not even think of this consciously at the time] dedicated to the welfare of the children in their care.
One effect of life at Caldecott was, I think, to install in all of us an ability to think for ourselves and a feeling of independence, at the same time as a strong sense of community. After so many years I still feel part of Caldecott, and I am sure that this has also helped me to find my place in the world at large and to engage in a fulfilling career which has depended to a large extent on understanding the people with whom it has brought me into contact.