I append, as a testimony to the power of advertising in the mid-1960's, my story The Three Apes (based on Goldilocks), written for Caldecott's Herald magazine in Summer 1966. By that time we at Hatch watched some TV in term time in the 'Prep Room' off the primary school courtyard. Of course, we watched more TV at home and we also saw other adverts, for instance in the cinemas. Many of the brands from then are history except obviously Corn Flakes.
THE THREE APES
Once upon a time there were three apes - Daddy Ape, Mummy Ape, and Little Ape. One day they made breakfast, but because the P.G.Tips was too hot they went to the Co-op grocer in the town to get some eggs with little lions stamped on them. A young lady called Silversocks found herself lost in the woods on her Honda 250, so she stopped at the Ape's house to ask the way to Margate. She saw the bowls on the table, and tried some of Daddy’s cereal. “Brand X, too corny," she said, and then tried some of Mummy’s Brand Y starch-reduced cereal, but found it too sour. But when she came to Little Ape's cereal she liked it and ate it all up - it was Corn Flakes, the Sunshine Breakfast - and she kept the free delta-winged plastic plane.
Then she wandered upstairs, and as she was tired she lay down on Daddy's bed. "Too hard," she said. Then she tried Mummy's. "Too lumpy" she said. But Little Ape's bed, being a comfortable Myers, was just right and Silversocks soon fell fast asleep. Later the three Apes come back in their Hillman Imp and discovered their bowls were disturbed. "Who's been eating my cereal, and hasn’t washed the plastic bowl given free with Tide, in our Electrolux washer?" asked Daddy Ape. "Who's been eating my cereal and hasn't washed up with Fairy Liquid, which is so kind to my hands?" asked Mummy Ape. Little Ape burst into tears crying "And who's been eating all my lovely sunshine breakfast ?"
They marched upstairs on their beautiful Axminster carpet. "Who's been lying on my bed," "Who's been lying on my bed ?" and Little Ape said "Who's lying on my bed with Cindy, the doll you love to dress?" They gathered round Silversocks, woke her up and told her they were going to call the police. Silversocks cried for help, and at that moment Tom Jones roared up on his Triumph 750. He rushed into the house while his dog, with its prolonged active life thanks to Pal, held the Apes at bay. Tom rescued Silversocks and gave her his James Bond raincoat to keep her warm. Daddy Ape tried to grab him by the collar, but the shirt came from Meakers, and would not tea. Tom gave Daddy Ape some Phyllisan, to fortify the over-forties, and then he and Silversocks went to her home to meet her mother.
Tom and Silversocks were married, and they lived happily ever after, because she made meat pies for Tom, containing Oxo, to give man-appeal.
GERALD MORAN