4. What’s in a Name?
“Betty” is usually one of the several possible nicknames for Elizabeth. I have always understood that Betty was christened Betty.
Consistently with everyone else who has written on the Association site, Facebook or wherever, I have referred to her throughout as “Betty Rayment” or just “Betty”. In reality, for me she was “Miss Rayment” to the end.
When I came to Caldecott, it was a strict rule that members of staff were addressed as Mr., Mrs. or Miss plus the surname, or the first name (as with Miss Leila), or an approved nickname (as with Miss Dave). Never “Sir” and “Miss”, as in most schools (including Ashford Grammar) but never without the title. One of Miss Travers’s assistants fell foul of this rule. This young man was a perfect parody of the late 1960s sociology student (I do not remember his surname). He had a balding top and long, lank hair at the back, he wore an old corduroy jacket of the colour best suited to draw attention to his dandruff, he had a paunch and he had a pipe perpetually in his mouth which apparently demanded constant lighting. On his first day, he spoke to each of us individually, introducing himself as “Bob”. When Miss Travers realized what was happening, she had the inevitable word in his ear. He then did the rounds again, explaining that we had better call him “Mr. Robert”. Possibly, Miss Travers was fighting a rear guard action. I seem to recall that, earlier than this, Messrs. Clover, King and Marshall were addressed as Cloey, Bingy and Curly without adverse consequences, but maybe it depended on who else was listening. In any case, polite formality was the rule.
Miss Dave once expressed surprise that we did not call Miss Rayment “Miss Betty”. We questioned Miss Rayment and she assured us it would be OK, but somehow Miss Rayment stuck. Originally, I believe it was a pure historical accident. When she came to the Community, it already had a “Miss Betty” whose surname I do not know and who had departed long before I ever knew Betty Rayment. Another potential “Miss Betty” was Miss Hill, but “Miss Hill” (in itself a nickname for Miss Hillyer) she remained.
I suppose that, any time after I left the Community, I could have asked to call her Betty. Likewise, she could have said or written “call me Betty” (after I went to Milan, Alexander Kelly signed his first letter Alex, adding “forget about the Mr. Kelly bit”). One of the last times I saw Betty, she kissed me on the cheek and said, “Well, I know you like to call me Miss Rayment”, almost as if it had become a nickname. Perhaps it hurt her that we never got over that formality, but a certain reserve on both sides seems to have inhibited us. If there is some sort of afterlife where people look the same as they did back on earth, I will greet her as Betty without asking first.